Today I watched a rainbow connect the earth and the sky.
Not like the ones I usually see, nice little parabolic shapes, connecting two points on land. No… this one was different. It just stood there, alone, without fear or care about its surroundings. Could almost see the tiny rain droplets roll down its quasi-impervious multi-coloured surface. Oh, it was quite a sight to behold.
Want to know what else is different? Me.
I am currently 9115 km (5664 miles for my imperial loving friends) west from where I was born. I am currently sitting in the living room of a rented apartment that I currently call home. From the window, I see snow covered mountain peaks, a wide display of architectural art styles, cars and rain-menacing clouds.
I am in the city of angels, where no angel can rescue me, and I had never been so far away from my beloved Europe for so long.
Yes, I travel a lot. In fact, I spend a lot of time traveling (work they call it – nowadays I just call it Tuesday, as I tend not to travel on Mondays). Nonetheless, most of the time I am on familiar soil. We all hear about how some countries are very different, how the English can’t cook, Germans never laugh, Finns never speak and Romanians have bears (right Cris?). Well, yes, there are some differences, but, ultimately, we in Europe are not that much different. We were all born on same continent, are almost within 5-6 hours flight from each other, we share an immense historical and cultural heritage, and almost everyone got ass-fucked by the romans (even if they left us the roads and aqueducts).
Here it’s kind of different, especially in the heart of the city, where I’m currently living and working. Truth be said: I’m probably in the most alien place of this country, where you thrive socially by becoming the best actor-actress-model-pilates-yoga-teacher that is also a foodie and spends $15 on organic almond milk rainforest certified lates each day.
Yes, I miss Europe. I miss home, family and friends. And I definitely miss being able to speak with someone, when I’m home alone at night and everyone else is sleeping on the other side of the world. Being alone is the kind of hardship that makes you grow (you grow or you die trying – period). I had to deal with a lot of my own shit, that big messy pile of emotions that lie about and that we tend to carry around on our emotional backpack… hardly an easy task. Just when you think you made some progress, something finds a way through, jolting through all the emotionally locked doors, screaming a very loud and anxious “Here’s Johnny!!!”.
Oh yes, I am different. Life changes, the world changes, even the fucking Terms and Conditions for your work tools constantly change. And with change comes turmoil, turmoil brings hardship and we all know that hardship makes us (hopefully) better humans. I never expected I would be where I am now. It is as if my life path lead me through the less traveled path (thanks Mr Frost… I guess) and I ended up being somewhere else, 100% contrary to all my previous plans. But I say fuck plans. Fuck all the pretentious little schemes we make for ourselves, that quite often prevent us from accepting what life, the universe (and everything) have planned for us.
And yes, I will see you all soon.