Crossroads

Hey, it’s me again!

It’s been a while. Almost a lifetime (yet another, *sigh*).

Since I last wrote here, so many thinks came to pass… World’s gone crazy with the Pandemic, people’s lives got set upside-down, we lost relatives, friends and a lot of things we hold most dear. We had to learn how to live again, how to work, and how to live through the ordeal of being away from those that we love.

As I write this text, everything seems to be calming down (crossing fingers here). Vaccines are being distributed, we have somewhat adapted to the hardship and are getting our lives back, one socially-distanced get-together after the other (now that’s a tough concept).

So what’s going on right now?

Like many others out there, my life was also set upside down. Suddenly all the things I took for granted weren’t there anymore, mental health went down the drain and I even gained a few undesired extra pounds.

This was also time for what I consider to be the “natural selection” of human relationships. Suddenly I got to see who were the persons who mattered the most, those who were there just for the fun and even those who are FUBAR and unable to cope with themselves (let alone others).

Once again I had to deal with my own insecurities, with an important career decision and with balancing my inner demons, my monkey brain and all those voices constantly telling me I’m huge failure.

These are the crossroads of life, where you must decide which path to thread, which song to pick, which hand to hold. Back in 2019, Downtown LA, I thought I had figured it all after taking a (still important) step on self-acceptance. I guess it’s just like those proverbial hill-climbing entrepreneurial examples of progress: you cross the threshold to find other obstacles to tackle. Hardship makes us better humans, but at the same time it sucker-punches us right in the face.

So, back to the original dilemma: where to go from now?

Risking becoming a commonly-resurgent stereotype, being in my mid-forties has made me question every single step, turn, road and shortcut that has lead me to where I am now. It’s just very hard when you’re biased AF and struggle to accept all the life-changing decisions taken along the path.

My conclusion to the question above is that there’s not a right answer… but also no wrong one either. In my particular case I choose the one that resonates better, one that I could imagine myself being portrayed upon, just like in an old painting carefully framed and hanging from a wooden-paneled wall of a 19th century study, one depicting an unknown wanderer in a lush green forest, threading an old path near dawn.

Choosing oneself on the pathways of life is always a good thing, trust me. As for all the things I need to take with me for this next journey? Self-acceptance, trust, an open heart and mind, a bit of excitement, some fascination with the unknown, and a lot of laughter.

See you on the road.

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