On Solitude and Loneliness

Some months back, I asked the following question on my social networks:

“For those of you who, more often than not, feel lonely, what are the main causes for that same feeling?

Needless to say I’m one of those people. 

If I look back, really back, I feel I’ve always felt lonely throughout my life. I grew up under an overprotective  household, where I couldn’t really go out and play, and the only real contact with friends were the very few I was fortunate enough to have come over (I’m such a walking and talking stereotype for a geek software engineer).

All this made me want to create stories, narratives, epic adventures of my own fantasy worlds, as they were my only escape from a very lonely existence. I could be whatever I wanted and do just that. I could be free from the shackles of my incarcerated upbringing.

Gosh, that was harsh…

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On People and Feelings

This is a very personal post. You have been warned.

Out at the train tracks
I dream of escape
But a song comes onto my iPod
And I realize it’s getting late
And I can’t take the staring
And the sympathy
And I don’t like the questions “How do you feel?”
“How’s it going in school?”
And “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Porcupine Tree – Way out of Here

We are an odd species, and surely I cannot put enough emphasis on that remark so that it really illustrates the feeling I am trying to convey.

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On Letting Go

We all like to take a few things for granted.

If we consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there are plenty of things we all love to take for granted, from things most of us we in the Western hemisphere usually have at our disposal, like a ceiling to sleep under, running drinkable water and food for the day, or even more complex endeavours like a good job or friends we can rely on.

So what happens when those constructs are put to test? How do we feel when we need to let go of something we hold most dear?

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Today Was Hard (or how I struggle with my own impatience)

Wake, shower, drive, wait in line, wait some more, someone telling me I stood in line for nothing for the past hour, drive, walk, wait, talk, wait some more…

I think you get the picture.

This is how my morning sounded like. It kind of went on until slightly past noon.

“So what?” You may wonder. Indeed, doesn’t sound much. In fact, I should be able to deal with this easily, just letting go of all of the unwanted feelings and rise above the low-orbiting, heavy weights that push my mood to the ground. Did I mention it also rained?

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